![Cookie : Um…I have seen a lot of frakendresses in my day but this one take the cakes. CAKE. It’s like three other dresses got drunk, stumbled into a dark room, got it on and 9 months later, gave birth to this
Beasty : Okay can we go from the bottom up there? Bottom half, total awesome comfy nighty.
Cookie : Oh yeah, that is total cabin in the woods, camping with my studly lumberjack boyfriend and/or girlfriend. Like you could wear the bottom half, curl up in front of a fire, and feel the whiskers of your love interest between your thighs. And then…then it hits the empire waist and it’s like NO!
Beasty : YES. Maybe with some awesome knee high thick socks. And then….what is that random shit on the side of the boobs? It straight up looks like pieces of sweatpants you put on an old nighty to hold it together.
Cookie : Maybe that is it. Stick with me here, so you’re in the cabin, enjoying a nice warm fire, nice warm orgasm, when BEAR ATTACK! And he goes right for the side boob, rendering your nightgown useless. The only thing you have to stop the bleeding and patch up the hole in the fabric is a pair of sweatpants your beloved uses to go gather wood in. And the straps, those are from your purse.
Beasty : YES. But not your good purse because they are pleather. So it came from the purse you got at Walgreen’s on the way there because you didn’t want to get anything on your good purse. This looks like a bad flannel shirt recon by a meth addled person who’s watched not enough Project Runway.
Cookie : Oh, I forgot to add, the bear clearly had pinky shears. That is the only thing that can possibly explain that hem. Her pose too, I HATE that pose in plus sized shots. The whole pushing your body out while pushing it back thing. She looks heavier than she really is.
Beasty : Um baby that hem is lace. That there is what makes it classy. CLASSY. Also those boots do not fucking go. It’s like bad photochop. Again if they were going to go there, they should GO there and put her hot ass in some cowboy boots. Don’t they have some this season?
Cookie : Wow, I just zoomed in and it’s blue lace. So revise that. Four dresses got drunk, had two fugly dress babies, who then went on to have a wild weekend in Vegas. This dress is a genetic abomination. The boots look like two different shoes procreated too. It can’t decide if it wants to be a boot or zip down and be a pump.
Beasty : LOL. This dress needs to be put down. I suggest sealing it up like Magneto then putting the whole thing in space. Let the aliens wear ugly shit.
RATING: NO PIE. They owe US coffee for Frankendress.
[Link]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l92rqvieFF1qdfyk8o1_400.png)
Cookie : Um…I have seen a lot of frakendresses in my day but this one take the cakes. CAKE. It’s like three other dresses got drunk, stumbled into a dark room, got it on and 9 months later, gave birth to this
Beasty : Okay can we go from the bottom up there? Bottom half, total awesome comfy nighty.
Cookie : Oh yeah, that is total cabin in the woods, camping with my studly lumberjack boyfriend and/or girlfriend. Like you could wear the bottom half, curl up in front of a fire, and feel the whiskers of your love interest between your thighs. And then…then it hits the empire waist and it’s like NO!
Beasty : YES. Maybe with some awesome knee high thick socks. And then….what is that random shit on the side of the boobs? It straight up looks like pieces of sweatpants you put on an old nighty to hold it together.
Cookie : Maybe that is it. Stick with me here, so you’re in the cabin, enjoying a nice warm fire, nice warm orgasm, when BEAR ATTACK! And he goes right for the side boob, rendering your nightgown useless. The only thing you have to stop the bleeding and patch up the hole in the fabric is a pair of sweatpants your beloved uses to go gather wood in. And the straps, those are from your purse.
Beasty : YES. But not your good purse because they are pleather. So it came from the purse you got at Walgreen’s on the way there because you didn’t want to get anything on your good purse. This looks like a bad flannel shirt recon by a meth addled person who’s watched not enough Project Runway.
Cookie : Oh, I forgot to add, the bear clearly had pinky shears. That is the only thing that can possibly explain that hem. Her pose too, I HATE that pose in plus sized shots. The whole pushing your body out while pushing it back thing. She looks heavier than she really is.
Beasty : Um baby that hem is lace. That there is what makes it classy. CLASSY. Also those boots do not fucking go. It’s like bad photochop. Again if they were going to go there, they should GO there and put her hot ass in some cowboy boots. Don’t they have some this season?
Cookie : Wow, I just zoomed in and it’s blue lace. So revise that. Four dresses got drunk, had two fugly dress babies, who then went on to have a wild weekend in Vegas. This dress is a genetic abomination. The boots look like two different shoes procreated too. It can’t decide if it wants to be a boot or zip down and be a pump.
Beasty : LOL. This dress needs to be put down. I suggest sealing it up like Magneto then putting the whole thing in space. Let the aliens wear ugly shit.
RATING: NO PIE. They owe US coffee for Frankendress.
[Link]
